Our Story
by Amy8
Summary: Angel goes over his memories of Buffy after receiving news of her death. PG JUST to be safe (My comp. was messing up. Hope the formatting's ok!)


Our Story  
  
Author's Notes: I usually hate reading this kind of fiction but I haven't written anything in so long that I felt the need to just sit and write. I hope you like it, even if it isn't terribly original.  
  
She so quickly became my everything. I devoted my whole life to her. I let her into my soul. I never let anyone else in. Not even when I was alive. Nobody knows me as well as she does. She never questioned me either. Somewhere in my soul I knew this couldn't work, but I NEVER thought it would turn out like this.  
  
I remember the first time I ever saw her. Walking out of school with her friends. Her hair shone so beautifully in the sunlight that day. That was the horrible day that she found out her calling in life. The day that she realized that she was better than everyone else. After that I didn't see her for about a month and a half. She moved to Sunnydale and I followed her there. When I followed her, and she knew I was there. She knew it! She could tell that somebody was following her and she caught me. She knew that I knew she was the slayer. The thing she didn't know was that I was so hopelessly in love with her. That was the reason I kept my distance. I couldn't stand to be near her. Her face, her hair, her captivating eyes. They enchanted me. She took it to offence that I wouldn't go near her but I just couldn't.   
  
I remember the exact day that she finally broke through the walls I had put up. When she heard the prophecy that she was going to die and she embraced it. She took the fate of the world in her hands and put her life on the line to keep the world safe. She was braver than any person I had ever met...not to mention that she looked beautiful in that dress.   
  
After that, I allowed myself to get close to her. We went hunting together. We saw each other around, but that cryptic distance between us was gone. Then things stepped up to a new level. The second I gave my soul to her was when we were skating and had to fend off that demon. She immediately came to my aid without even noticing my hideous, disfigured face. I knew that she could see my soul when she looked at me, she didn't notice the demon that looked at her. She saw ME. The real me that loved her then and will always love her.   
  
Then Spike and Drusilla just had to make more trouble by bringing the JUDGE back to life. Maybe it was that. That our lives were in danger that brought us to the events that occured later that night. Even though the outcome of that evening was horrible, I won't trade that memory for anything. The look on her face when I told her that I loved her. It surprised me because she looked positively shocked, as if no one could possibly love her. And....and when she told me that she loved me too. I just felt my heart swell with joy. The joy that at that moment, I had everything I wanted. Just her. To hold her in my arms forever. To know that we had peace. Peace together, even if only for a few hours. Unfortunately things were never the same. I went evil and then just when I retrieved my soul, she had no choice but to send me to hell to save the world, AGAIN.   
  
When I finally came back from hell, things had changed. Buffy was a new person. She was DATING and didn't want much to do with me. Not like I could blame her though. I killed so many people in those few months and destroyed so much that she held dear. She did let me back in though. We even started dating for a short while when I got a short reminder that that situation was unfair to Buffy, although she doesn't seem to think so.....I left her. Left her in Sunnydale and went to Los Angeles to make a difference to humanity on my own.   
  
Even if I was on my own, I never stopped thinking about her. Wishing things could have been different. Wishing that I could have been human. Then we could have been together. People tell me to move on, that it's not meant to be but I just refuse to accept that. We were soulmates. She knew me better than anyone. I knew her better than anyone.   
  
Two years without her. Two years I have lived in this rechid city (-no offense to LA-ers, I love it!) without Buffy. I have seen her 4 times in those 2 years. And now I'll never see her again. She heroically gave her life so this world will keep on turning. No one out there knows how close they came to losing everything. And that one woman kept it together. She bravely suffered a horrific death, to save the world.   
  
Gunn, Wesley and Cordelia are worried about me. I can tell. I have hardly spoken since it happened. It's just too hard to deal with. Too hard to accept that she is gone. Buffy Summers is gone. She is buried away where no one can see her precious face again.   
  
I miss her. Everyday I wish it was me instead of her. She deserves to live forever. But on the otherhand, she now has the rest that she deserves. She earned it. Worked hard to get to it and now she has it. I don't care though. I'm thinking selfish thoughts and I don't care. I don't care if she's earned this rest that she has now, I want her back. I want to see her face again, her eyes, her hair. I would give everything I have just to see her smile. The way her cheeks round out her face. The way her eyes squint together. I love her. And I can't live without her. But I will continue to fight the fight. Fight for her. That was always my reason. It was never for mankind. Only for her. I hope that somehow I'll see her again. I know that when I die, there is no way I will go to the same place as her. She will go to a special heaven for Angels and Heroes. I will go to the deepest pits of hell and suffer for my actions. Even so, I just have the feeling. Someday, someday in my life, I will see my love again.  
  
End  
  
What'ya think? Huh? HUH?!?!?!?! (J/J I'm a nice gal) 


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